Have been feeling weird last few weeks. I eventually realized that some of this felt like the weeks after 9/11. But lately, I'm pulled in by a few things:
1. Those two times when I was a child when was involuntarily separated from my parents and all but one of my siblings (my Dad's blinding farm accident, Mom's cancer treatment) for a week? two weeks? a month? I don't know how long it was because I just remember ... I cannot type what I remember about how hard and confusing and terrifying and painful that was, despite being looked after by my my grandparents, my aunt Marcena, and my older sister and my parents still being alive and staying in touch as best they could, i.e., letters and the occasional phone call.2. That time when a tornado came through or near Portis, Kansas when I was 5? 6? and we went to the root cellar (a hole/cave dug in the ground). I remember the darkness, the smells, and the deafening pounding pounding winds. It was confusing and terrifying. But I had my parents.
and then earlier this week, I learn that at least two of my students have experienced the trauma of child welfare workers investigating their families.
Is this what "being triggered is"? Is/was this trauma? And what purpose does it serve?
I like to think that if we have enough love and support in our life, then these confusing, terrifying, painful experiences can be a source of compassion and solidarity, "metta." But I'm not sure.
All I know is that there are some very broken people out there who are okay with bombing the shit out of other people.
